You speak about people as if they are objects put here just to meet each other’s needs. That’s the problem to begin with, why must all our needs be met? How selfish! If you love someone you love all the things about them, you don’t say I love them but they aren’t funny enough, so I’m going to have an affair with a comedian so my humor needs are met.

I came across this quote in the internet which I feel sums up the major reason why men cheat. I’ve been involved in relationships before where I was the third party.

It was not easy most especially when the other party finds out about the relationship; the drama starts and the heartaches begin.

Men would complain on how they are being treated by their significant others, how their egos are being stepped on. They would often say that their partner doesn’t understand their needs; they often feel suffocated inside the relationship especially when their partner is very dependent or needy; others would complain about not having enough time or space to do things on their own; others would just rant about anything the other person does that irritates them. The list would go on and on, but basically it would come up to one reason, they are not SATISFIED with the relationship they’re in.

Most of them would find qualities in a woman absent from the one they’re already in a relationship with. This often starts by confiding their relationship problems with another girl and they feel that when being consoled by that person, she understands him better compared to his partner. Its trouble when the comparison between two women starts. Questions like “Why can’t you be like her?” or “Why can she do it and you can’t?” are the early signs of discontentment in a relationship. It’s either he gets it from you by means of you adjusting or changing to correspond to his needs or he’d get it from someone else.

Being in that kind of relationship is definitely not something I’m proud of having done, but there’s a lot of learning from the experience. I’ve learned that loving someone doesn’t end when you find something lacking in the relationship. Partners should learn to complement each other. Nobody is perfect and there’s no perfect relationship either. If you love the person, learn to accept the flaws of your better-half. If change is for the better, consider changing; if change is impossible learn to accept it. Learn to be content and grateful with what you have.